Worry and doubt are the greatest enemies of a chef.
I heard these words recently and was struck by their power. In culinary parlance, will the souffle rise? Have I cooked the meat for too long, or for too short a time? Will they like what I’ve cooked? Will they eat what I’ve cooked?!
So, where does worry and doubt get us? Invariably nowhere where we want to get to and everywhere where we don’t! Excess stress brought on through worry causes all sorts of unwelcome impacts upon the body, and others! Doubts bring unwelcome thoughts and fears that can hold us and restrict us from living the life we’re proud to own.
“Who doesn’t worry?” I hear you cry. The Bible has something to say on worry, namely why?! (Have a look at my article called Worry, not… for some more thoughts on this.) According to research (again, you can find about about this by reading my article: Worry, not… ) only about 8% of things that we worry about are actually worth worrying about anyway!
Doubt, like worry, is something that we learn to do and we learn to do it very well indeed. We aren’t born with doubts but we soon learn them when what we expect to happen doesn’t or what we don’t expect to happen occurs. There is a conflict created between beliefs (what we expect to happen, or not) and experiences (what actually happens, or doesn’t). The response can be to leave in stale mate since we aren’t sure what to trust and then act on: our beliefs that have served us so far and make us act in one direction or the experiences that want us to act in another direction. It’s rather like having one foot in a boat and one foot on the sand. The belief is that the sand isn’t safe (based upon previous experiences: our auto-response psychology) whereas the experience is that the sand is golden, feels warm and wonderful between our feet and inviting us to step out and enjoy. The outcome? We keep one foot in the boat; it is doubt that has stuck us.
Think for a moment how many times you’ve had the conversation with yourself leaving yourself stuck? You wanted to do something but you told yourself that if you did, this would happen. In hindsight was what you thought might happen actually what did happen?
Furthermore, doubts can lead to regrets; we miss out on possibly wonderful experiences convinced about what will happen when present events are telling us that there may well be a different outcome. Beliefs do dictate behaviours: if we believe that something will happen it probably will. That works both ways though. Back to my beach analogy, if I believe that the outcome will be different this time: something that I want and will enjoy then I can set about making sure I get the desired outcome and don’t remain stuck with a foot in two places. If I think about things that I’ve missed and can add new information into the event then the event’s meaning starts to change. May be I’ll start doubting that all the bad things that I thought would happen will happen and start thinking about all the good things I’m going to enjoy. That will release my foot that’s stuck in the boat. How much nicer – and freer – it is to have two feet enjoying the golden sand!
Is there something you’re worrying about or doubting? Both can leave you stuck. Contact me and I can help you get unstuck and help you to live the life you’re proud to own. No doubt you’re ready for that, eh?